KILGOROUND
BILL WOODALL

FROM THE 'just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water' file:

OUR friend Lee Layman installs and services air conditioners and furnaces and so forth for a busy heating and air conditioning shop.

A WEEK or so ago he was called to service a unit at a small apartment complex. A pit bull was staked out near the rear outside unit. He asked the owner to put the family pit bull in the house and then walked back to the front of the building. When the owner took the dog off the chain to lead it inside, the dog got loose and tore around the building.

THE bad guy leaped at the head of our protagonist but missed as Lee jumped backwards. The dog did, though, manage to get a mouth full of belly and hung - suspended - from Lee's stomach. The dog's owner and a neighbor came in pursuit of the dog and eventually managed to pry the dog loose from Lee, leaving an astonishing, bite-shaped

pattern -- and some really, really impressive puncture wounds -- in Lee's stomach.

THE dog has been consigned, for at least a few more days, to a cage at the veterinarian's office. Given that the city will no require an extensive "containment facility" for the animal, we suspect the dog will soon be either consigned to the pages of history or shipped out of town.)

LEE, meanwhile, is adopting a new diet and workout regimen in an attempt to make his anterior less accessible to dogs. And he is, we suspect, shopping for Kevlar work shirts.

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THE DOG incident reminds us of the old television commercial for the Western company, "If you don't have an oil well, get one; you'll like doing business with Western." Today's version might be, "if you don't have a pit bull, get one; you'll love doing business with policemen, lawyers and doctors."

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THOSE SPIFFY new East Texas Pumpjack shirts publicized in the newspaper's sports pages last week are available at the team's headquarters in the Stone Road office building. The caps are not available yet, but you can put your name on the list -- they'll probably even let you pre-pay -- just to be sure you get one when they actually arrive.

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THE warning sirens worked Friday, the first time we at the newspaper office have heard them for real.

THOUGH no tornadoes touched down near us, we heard entertaining stories about reactions to the weather threat. at Martin Gas, employees were moved to interior hallways. At Citizens Bank, people were asked to stand near the vault. A friend who lives in Tyler was inside Wal- Mart when the storm came through that city; she and other shoppers were herded to the rear of the store and kept there until the weather moderated.

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HAPPY birthday today, Sunday, to Wesley Bradford, Larry Harvey, Norma Cleary, Walt Brasher, Lelia VanMeter, Jay Bryner, Mrs. Billy Sherrod, Mrs. J.B. Hughey, Mrs. Sherman Duke, Joyce Ann Jackson, Ashton Faulkner, Destiny Trotty, Vernell Holder

CELEBRATING wedding anniversaries today are Mr. and Mrs. James Rex Mitchell, Mr. and Mrs. W. McInvale, Dr. and Mrs. W.M. Hendrie, Wayne and Nell Easley- Golden.

BLOWING out birthday candles Monday are Kay Charchio, Allison Tanner, Janice Thurston, Cerica Cannon, Julia Ann Pierce, James Bell, Shelia Eberli, Gail Hargrave, Mariel Harvey, David Jones, Wendy Eberli, Luke Williams, Toni Sinclair Thompson, Dori Griffin, Heinz Anders, Chase Jordan Vinson, Bob Caster, Dennis Reese II, Ja'mya Murphy, Cord Carr, Donald Thompson.

HAPPY anniversary Monday toMoris and Alma Turner, Mr. and Mrs. Austin Nix, Mr. and Mrs. David White