The Dad connection

Some of us grew up with dads who were always there for us, while others had dads who were physically present but emotionally absent. Still others never knew a dad in the home, perhaps because of death or divorce. But whether your dad was present, absent, or somewhere in between, you have probably spent a good part of your life dealing with the positive or negative impact your father had on you. One of the key things many of us want to hear from our dads are the words, "I love you." I've been listening to some tapes from an organization called Men’s Fraternity that address the issue of what it really means to be a man. Conveying love to his children is a hallmark of a real man.

One of the guys attending Men's Fraternity wrote about his own need to hear his father's words of love:

"My father was killed in World War II when I was three years old. I knew in my heart that he loved me. My mother told me that he loved me. But I always wanted to hear it for myself from him. When my mother and stepfather retired, I went over one day to help them pack. My mom took an old photo of my father in his Army uniform off her dresser and gave it to me and said, 'Here, this is for you. I know your father would have wanted you to have it.' As I took the picture from her I accidentally dropped it and the cheap metal frame hit the floor and broke, shattering the glass. Sick at heart I reached down to salvage what was left of this family treasure. But behind the photo I found a letter, placed there 37 years before and long since forgotten. It was a letter from my father to me, his three-year-old son. The last letter he had written before he died. In it, he said he loved me, and that he longed to come home and be with me. Unbelievably, I finally heard the words that I had longed to hear from a dad who was long since dead."

This man had a dad who understood the importance of conveying the message of love in an unmistakable way. How about you, dad? Have you told your kids you love them in words out loud? Sure, you can convey love through actions. You could even write them a note. But nothing is as impacting as looking your child in the eyes, saying their name, and telling them, "I love you." If you've never done it before, it may feel awkward. Like the first time you threw a ball or swung a golf club. But I'll bet you persisted in throwing and swinging until you got it right. Saying I love you is worth the effort too.

If you haven't told your kids you love them, do it today. They'll treasure those words as they hear them meaningfully repeated over the years.